こころがざわざわ

I have to do many things.
But I have an obsession with one thing.
My feeling is confused.
So I can't progress next step because of one thing.
I guess I'm puzzled to my feelings for myself.

I received e-mail from friend who had just returned home temporarily.
She was the best friend of mine. At least that was the way I looked at it.
I had realized it was wrong.
Not that it matters now.
She has already left out of my important friend.
But why does she confuse me?