gloomy story

Actually, I have few "real friend".
Of course I have a lot of friend, but I am feeling I seldom speak to them my true feeling.
I don't know why, but I feel it is comfortable for me.
But I can open my mind to only a few people who can understand my mind.
So I called "real friend".
Real friend is really good for each other.
Because we can talk everything and we can understand each other.
At least I felt so.

Recently, I felt I was betrayed by a real friend.
Maybe it might just be my imagination.
But in fact, I've never met alone with her since that time.
Even though I met her with other friends, I felt to spend tough time.
we were usually meeting once a week before then.
Whether we were busy or not, at least we were kept in touch with each other by e-mail or phone.
But now, I have not any contact.

I feel so sad.

Yesterday, she was suddenly e-mailed me "can you meet me tonight?"
I was so happy, I replied "yes".
She replied "I have a farewell party in my office tonight. So when it finished I'll contact you."
I waited and waited until 0am but she didn't call me.

And then almost 0:30, she called me "I can't meet tonight."

I felt really sad.

I don't know why she didn't call much earlier.
I don't know why she invited me even though she could't meet me.
I don't know why she changed.
or I don't know why she can't see anything except her fiance.
At least I feel that.

my heart feel heart-wrenching feeling as I think about her.