ambition

I had a special memorial day in my life.
We were talking about ambitions when I and Shin had a lesson yesterday.
Until at the moment, I'd forgotten about my ambition.
I have worked for ten years since I graduated school.
But I think there aren't ideal job I want to do.

When I was a high school student, I liked to read books.
I was called "book worm".
So I wanted to get a job related to books.
After graduation, I worked at library as a librarian.
But I didn't feel it was comfortable, so I quit one year.
Next I worked at publish company that published educational books for educator.
I made an advertisement and information magazine for customer.
It was enjoyable job, but I was always thinking it was wrong that I wanted to do.
I needed ideal job what I need to do, so I changed my job.
I got a new job that made manuals for mechanic.
But I couldn't find ideal job for me.

Honestly, I thought that I'd rather want to be a book than get a job related to books.

Is this Aya-word?
Is this incomprehensible word?
I know this is impossible thing, but I feel I want to be a book.

...to be continuted